hello! Didnt update for longg again. hehhe. Yes i'm still lazy! Today was funnn! FINALLY I GET TO DANCE. Always wanted to learn dancing but afraid to go alone. hehe.. Happy happy. Went with lanxiang and yuanjing. But a pity that yuanjing didnt feel well so she didnt really dance:s Really like the choreography today. We are learning street jazz:) Did some basic turns during the lesson. i seriously dont know how to turn:s is either i lost balance or i forgot which way to turn. hahahaa. never mind I shall practice on my own. hehehe. But i really enjoyed today's lesson alot!:D
After dancing went to meet xiaobao. Cos she was studying at my house downstairs then went to find her to chit chat for awhile:)) Bao bao arhhh.. hehehehehe:P I was dead tired when i went home. My legs are aching and filled with blue blacks because of the choreography today. hahaha. But it's okayyy dancing is so FUN!:) Fell asleep on the floor in the living room for 3hours. hahahah. My papa so sweet he off the lights for me to sleep though he know i not suppose to sleep at that hour:)
Next week got many many tests!! OMG.. I haven study:s Got PCN, ATE, DSPR, KOREAN... Die le die leeeee... Must study tmrrr.. 2weeks later is common test leeee.. Also GG. 怕怕:s
OKKK that's all for todayy! :D
tata~
Ah Chen's story
- MUSIC :))
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
chen_chian- December 6th, 0:31
cheerful
- WEEEEE...
-
- chen_chian
- December 6th, 0:12
energetic
- UPDATED!
-
- chen_chian
- November 18th, 23:36
mischievous
Woooo... SO long never blog le.. hehehe. Abit lazy that why:P Anyway alot of things happen. Both good and bad things. What should i start with? ok! maybe anniversary first:D It's 1year already! 1year past really fast.. it's as if we only just got to know each other yesterday? hahaha. Happy happy:)
One day before yesterday we went to celebrate. We went thai express to eat. i ate laksa it was damn spicy!! But i really like it:) But.. the next day my mouth swell until today-.- two ulcers are grown in my mouth. went to check the net to find out what happen to my mouth. i suspect it's canker sore due to food allergy but canker sore only happens on lips and gum, but mine is at the end of the cheeks. I cannot eat or speak properly since yesterday because my teeth keeps rubbing against it-.- Going to the doc if it still hurts tmr:s
Anyway i need money!! Currently finding for a part time job. But couldnt get one. haiz.. no money to buy new clothes, no money to go out. WHY!!??:s hope i can find a job real quick:) i have been sick of tired of school suddenly. Just dont get a single idea of wat the lecturers are teaching-.- so i kinda give up on myslf. But lanxiang say cannot.. got to keep going forward or else will regret. i knoww.. but i'm so sick of it! i skip alot of lessons and being late on purpose. that's how sick of sch i was for the past two weeks. but if i give up now i will suffer more. sooo i must continue on. Common test is coming so i got to try! though i still feel lazy:s
okok. long enough le. BYEEE
- Solution!!
-
- chen_chian
- October 19th, 22:25
drained
I found how to cover the hole le!! heheehhee.. Using my GLOW TAPE! :D
SEEEE..
Look better? :D It will glow in the dark too. hehehe.
I'm alone in school now.. so siannnn.. got to wait till 6 for cca to start :s it's like only 2.35pm now. There's still 4more hours. OMG. Every Mon i got to WAIT! :s haiz.......
- School TMR!!!
-
- chen_chian
- October 18th, 22:41
giggly
hehehee! I'm so excited! tmr school start le :D A new SEMESTER! Must really work hard this sem. Though got improve last sem but must improve MORE! Or else i cannot further my studies:( WHOOSH!! This sem got Maths.. Abit stress :s Just do what i can.. I hope i wont be lazy this SEM. Must defeat all the lazy worms! Going to sleep soon tmr lesson at 8am :s
My poor com.. Crack one BIG HOLE! haiz.. Finding things to cover it and prevent it to crack further:s PLS DONT CRACK ANYMORE!
As you can see it is BAD!
I'm happy that everything is solved:))
Bye! Need to Sleep :D
- Today!!
-
- chen_chian
- October 15th, 0:40
relaxed
Finally i get to watch a live performance!! YAY!! And it's very very good! It's acapella from JAPAN! It's damn amazing how they can make great music just from their voice and their voice are DAMN NICE. Love it when band are super good at LIVE:) They are called PERMANENT FISH. hahaa. I think the name for the band is.. ermm.. Fresh? hahaha. Fish mah:) They damn funny during the performance too. hahaha. They sang "OH MY LOVE MY DARLING" my heart really 'melted'.. The way they sang is SOOO SWEET *0* After hearing them singing LIVE, they really help me through another day of unhappiness.. THANK YOU PERMENANT FISH FOR UR AMAZING VOICE AND MUSIC IT LIGHTS UP MY DAY!:)
Talk to me
You speak with me
Don’t sink before you rise baby
Don’t fade away
You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away
Who’s to say, we’ll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I don’t wanna see it melt away
If you walk out now
I don’t know if we’re gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I won’t forget
And now, who’s to say, we’ll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile
Cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
look I bought your favorite ice ream
I don’t want to see it melts away
If you walk out now
I don’t know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me
I want you to stay here with me
Sorry BAO. I stole ur music. hehe. Let me use ok?:)
- I Will Not Cry
-
- chen_chian
- September 27th, 3:21
i know i should not be posting sad things. But it cant be help. Look at time it's 3.23AM now. I cant sleep. I dont know how to express my sadness. It really hurts. So i decided to use this song.. Holding back the tears by dbsk. But i just couldnt hold it back:(
[ChangMin]
A faded white painting and my slightly vanished scent are hidden inside an eye-blinding cloud
[YooChun]
My wordless heart Slowly starts to move my feelings
Those times that slipped through
Are in my hands
[Junsu]
I'm holding back the tears
I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart
To a place that is neither close nor far
Where a different me stands
I will not cry
[YunHo]
I bring my two hands together once again
In a place I live the present life instead of the memories
[Jaejoong]
Though it seems stupid, we’re always together
The pain that I want to let go
Dries the tears that flows through my body
[All]
I'm living with my tears
I walk trying to lessen the weight of my heart
To a place that is neither close nor far
Where a different me stands
I will not cry
[All]
I'm holding back the tears
I run adding to the weight of my faith
To a place that is neither high nor low
Where a different me stands again
With a small smile I can laugh
- Great day!
-
- chen_chian
- September 26th, 0:28
grateful
Today went plaza sing and orchard with poly friends. hahaha. Had really a good time with them. Couldnt stop myslf from laughing especially during DINNER!! Cant even eat properly.. hahahaha. Had a great time bonding with them:)) Thanks for asking me out!:D
Deardear coming back on sun and i'm not working on mon! Need to have a little catching up with each other. heee.. He must be enjoying there cos he message me sometimes from china that he's shopping-.- so nice de. i oso wan to shop! hmph. I want clothes. i wan bag! but not enough money.. haiz.. Nevermind! i will get to shop wat i want one day!:D I need some catching up with my friends too. OMG how am i going to find the time. Got attachment till 17oct and two days after that sch reopen le-.- MY DEAR FRIENDS, I PROMISE I WILL FIND TIME FOR YOU GUYS! PROMISE :D
My phone bill is going to BURST! OMG. My mama is so gonna kill me. hahahaha. Because my house phone spoilt then keep using my phone to call ppl. And i message deardear overseas sms! GG liao.. if it's 100bucks! where am i going to get the money..!? :s Better dont call so much le :s
okok.. Bye~
- Madness
-
- chen_chian
- September 16th, 21:18
grumpy
Results are going to be posted on 18SEPT! Omg i damn scared.. i dont know whether i will do well anot:s i dont wan to get 2+ for my GPA anymore.. I wan at least a 3!!! I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW!!! Damn scared and damn excited. How many As will i get? Maybe no As!? omg. i going CRAZY!
When i was writing my resume, i realise i got no achievements.. Seriously NOTHING! No leadership, no awards. I was wondering what have i been doing all my 19years? Living all these years with NOTHING!! Feel so useless.. Maybe my parents were right. I'm useless! I didnt achieve anything that made them proud. USELESS PIECE OF CRAP! Is there seriously nothing i can do RIGHT?!! NOTHING AT ALL?? :(
My friend ask me, "Why your blog all complains? You got no happy things??"
I have happy things. Just that whenever i feel really happy, always always.. bad things happen on that day or immediately after. Of course i want to be happy, think positive.. But this kind of things are out of my control. I cannot control my super bad temper and cannot control myself from thinking alot and i cannot control WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT!! Sometimes i really want to escape, Escape from all.. But what's the use? It will just keep coming back.. CHEN CHIAN YOU GOT TO THINK POSITIVELY!! LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! ALL NEGATIVE THOUGHTS GO AWAY! SHOO~!
Sooo.. i decided i should blog happy things more often than crappy stuff :))
People grow everyday, learn new things everyday. But some people just couldnt learn how to think of others feelings. Only thinking about themselves getting benefits, being selfish and only want it their way. When they couldnt get what they want, they start to show attitude or badmouth the others, spreading false information.. Instead of thinking you are being treated unfairly, why dont you think how you treat others. Ask yourslf did you treat them fairly? How the others treat you is how you treated them in the first place. So what if you have more benefits? You will lose more important things in your life. And you are not the boss. You cant tell the others how to run their own life. Are you sure you can tell who are they happier with or not?? You can read their mind??
ONE ADVISE: Stop Being So Selfish
Byeee~ :)
- Birthday!
-
- chen_chian
- September 14th, 23:56
loved
It's not my birthday yet.. But my friends already give me super advance birthday gift. hahahaa. Thank you so much! :)) Anyway i will be having attachment during my birthday. Oh well. A different kind of birthday this year? hahaha. Not too bad lah:)
Some pics of my advance advance birthday gift :D
JESSIE STEPH HUIYU
XIAOBAO HILDA HUIMIN
THANK YOU MY FRIENDS! :))
i miss deardear,,
- Some Family
-
- chen_chian
- September 12th, 0:03
crushed
It is getting harder to communicate with my parents. I just find it hard.. They dont listen to me at all! They dont know what i want. Always nagging non stop. I KNOW they do it for my own good.. -.- But maybe they should stop nagging and LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! Is it that difficult? Haiz.. Always saying what is good for me, what is bad. HELLO! i'm already 19! I know i still got a long way through life but at this age i dont believe i DONT KNOW HOW TO DEFINE WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD!
Always saying that i'm useless and not mature enough, why can't they encourage me to do what i like and can well in?! Am i really that useless that i cannot do anything RIGHT??! NOT EVEN A SINGLE THING? i hate this. Plus some 'caring' sister. Some sister that feels happy when her younger sister got scolded or slapped by her parents. Which makes the younger sister being more useless in her parents eyes. What can i do? Will showing my temper help??:( Sometimes i hope it helps.. Since they always thinks that i only like to show them my temper. They just dont believe in what i can do. I dont know how to prove it to them and dont know how to know!! Ask them for opinion we end up quarrelling. What is this? You call this a FAMILY? i really dont understand.
- Dont know.
-
- chen_chian
- September 7th, 1:00
- awake
I really don't know what is going on. When i have something to be happy about, there's always always something that upsets me at the same time. Is this life? Y isn't there anything that i will not get upset about? I just want to be happy, doing what i like.
Have been catching up with my friends recently. Really miss those time that we are together. Although we had some conflict back then, but it's all forgotten:)) I want to cherish every TRUE friendship. Did not cherish them earlier, which i regret a lot:( Without friends, life is nothing, NOTHING AT ALL. I don't know what to say. But happy that i have great friends in and outside poly:D
[ i need to know what are you thinking.. Or else i will start thinking about stupid stuff. Can you please tell me.. please... at least i know what is it. ]
I want to learn how to dance! But i don't have the time to go to dance school -.- Really really want to learn.. haha. Just being random.
Byee~
- lame stuff
-
- chen_chian
- September 1st, 23:03
- frustrated
i'm bored! Having a long holiday is a good and bad thing. GOOD - Do not need to study. No stress. Hang out with friends. BAD - Go out = spend money. End of the month no money -.- Stay at home = laze around, nothing to do -.- I rather go school and study, rather stress over studies than stressing over what to do for the whole day. hahaha. i'm going mad..
Today went to watch the movie xia dao xiao by Jack Neo with deardear. Overall the stories are okay.. Not too bad. The ending is touching:) Funny and scary at the same time. i 'jump' a few times. hahahha.
Realise i depend on deardear too much, he's always watching my back, taking care of me.. Which is not a good thing. It will make me weaker when i'm on my own, not independent. Omg. This cannot happen anymore.
WHEN WILL I STOP THINKING SO MUCH?! WHY? STOP IT CHEN CHIAN! ARGH!:( One after another. What is this. Because he doesnt tell me anything or he's too good? I dont know. HATE THIS FEELING.
- Same old me.
-
- chen_chian
- August 30th, 23:17
blah
Wahhh... Have not blog for a long long long time. I dont know what to start with. hmmm.. Maybe my malaysia trip?:D It's really really fun! I went during national day holiday:)) Really had a great relax time. I went to KL then Genting Highland; 3days 2night:)) I love the roller coaster rides! Really LOVE IT! Shouted and laughed all my stress out:D I like the flying coaster the most!! The ride that u move around like superman cos it's laying down. And it turns 360degree!!! Cool Man! It's a must must MUST SIT when u guys go genting:D But the sad thing is i miss national day urban:( Really really wan to go urban.. haiz.. never mind i still had FUN!
And aikido camp is cancelled.. kind of disappointed cos it's a rare opportunity to have a combine camp with another poly. But the respond from the juniors are really poor so the camp didnt make it. Oh well just take it as an experience? At least i learn how a camp planning works. haha:))
Attachment is 3weeks later. Nervous and at the same time excited:D I wan to see how an event works. And how does it feels like being a backstage crew:) Sounds cool? I'm attached to esplanade, hear from friends that they have fun there. Jus that there's no allowance.. haiz.. means no money for me to spend:( Nahh.. not disappointed at all, most important thing is gaining experience, which is more valuable than money:))
Anywayyy, everyone has really grown up. What can i say? They all change. Me? i dont think i have change.. Jus same old me staying at home.. Busy with school work and sch events. Nothing for me to get excited about. Seeing others having what they really enjoy, makes me envy them alot. Envy is a sin.. i know that. But it just couldn't be help the feeling just comes. hmmm.. Like wat everyone says, the only solution is to cherish what you have now, what we have now is as good as what the people we envy have. Agree? i got a good family, a number of good friends, a good boyfriend, a good school, a good course. How much more can i ask for? I dont know. But i saw how much my friends change, makes me think more about myself, my inner self.
Long post huh? hehe..
byeeee~
- What's New..
-
- chen_chian
- August 5th, 23:10
- frustrated
Had TWO lab test today:s Finally it's over! I study a bit for both only. hhehehe.. Really lazy. In the end, i copy during the test. HHAHAHA! SHHH... The teacher also dont care de. Everybody is copying, discuss somemore. hahahaha.. Wardah the best, she sits behind me, look at my com to copy. hahahaha! cool right? That's DMPT:D MTS test wasnt that good although it's open book. haiz.. I dont know how to operate the equipment:s damn sian.. dont know will fail anot:( I already failed the quiz. Say byebye to my 3.5 GPA:((
I'm really fed up staying at home BECAUSE OF SOME FREAKING SISTER. irritating like shit! nonono.. WORSE THAN SHIT! She make me fall out with my father because of one freaking fan!!! IT'S ONLY A FREAKING FAN! She and her stupid BIG MOUTH! I jus reverse the fan to make it blow to me when i'm further away. Yes i forgot to reverse it back, that's my fault i know. That she start to suan me and my father got influence then started scolding me. WHAT THE HELL! And i blew up. Got really irritated, bloody hell! GROW UP CAN? 22years old liao still like some spoilt kid.. argh..! haiz.. think i will be better if i can stay alone! Or at least not with this FREAKING SISTER!
i'm already irritated. when i talk to deardear on the phone, i dont know wat is he doing!! He replied me 2mins later when i ask one question. No use going on with the conversation when he's not listening or concentrating!! THANKS DEARDEAR FOR MAKING ME MORE IRRITATED AND FED UP!!
Anyway, something to cheer me up.. I recently got addicted to this song called MA People by LEXY. Think it's quite a old song le. I very lack back de. soo ya.. This is the dance. I really like it, damn cool:) Especially the girl in black. Like it when they do the pumping. and hate it when they do the sexy thing on the floor-.- not nice.. spoil the dance.
Byeee~
- Got To Learn
-
- chen_chian
- July 28th, 19:55
- refreshed
This is the 2nd post of the day. I'm waiting for deardear to end his jap class. I wanted to study so i decided to wait for him. Yes! I did study, but I DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! GG! I only got tmr to ask and study 4chapters. Dead.. I am so so so dead.. MTS is really hard understand. All the wires and wave forms..:s And I'm sitting at study corner filled with insects! argh! Make me so itch -.- 1hour ago, a cat jus pop out under the table, scare me xio.. Then a frog.. yyyeeeeuuwww... Lucky never come to me. hehehe. i dont like reptiles. I think they are disgusting..:s
Anyway, i went to read Sandra's blog again. Maybe i should stop envying others and start working on myslf. Really think that she learnt alot over the years. I got to learn to live stronger and more independent. And giving sufficient space for each other.. Right.. Got to learn from the bottom again. Easy to say but it takes time to learn. hmmm... Time to grow up.
I still cant study..:( Lost the mood. haiz.. terrible terrible terrible :s
Somebody dreams of you every night..
somebody is me.
- How Long Can I Hold on
-
- chen_chian
- July 28th, 6:44
- uncomfortable
I'm having VT now.. Again.... It's boring -.- Catch alittle here, alittle there which equals to nothing -.- haiz.. Exams are around the corner yet i'm still slacking away. ARGH! WAKE UP CHENCHIAN!! IT'S TIME TO BUCK UP! I couldnt blog recently because i'm busy with lots of stuff. PROJECTS PROJECTS PROJECTS! TEST TEST TEST! Seriously going crazy someday :s I got two test on wednesday next week, there goes my weekends:(
Uneasy feelings keep coming to me. I really dont know if i'm thinking too much or what i feel is true. Avoiding might be a good idea, but it will still haunt you no matter when or where.. I really want to know the truth.. No matter it's good or bad, i have to face it although i know it's hard. Liking someone is not a crime and nobody can stop you to. I cannot hold my own feelings anymore but making it obvious wont help either. What can i do? I could only watch from the back and then put a big smile on my face, act like i didnt see anything. For friendship, i will keep it within myself.. but... i believe i cannot hold for long anymore and i'm getting fed up.
I WILL TRUST..
I got too many responsiblities in my hands. I cannot give it all up because of this. I rather.. give.up.on.this. although i.. really dont want to. But i cannot and do not want to waste any more of my life away.
NOW! My main objectives is to get my GPA back to 3.5!
tata~
- Sweet :D
-
- chen_chian
- July 14th, 15:36
hopeful
I'm BORED!! I dont understand VT AT ALL!!! Argh!!! Mr Loh is going through the different web cam qualities. ahahhhaa. The way he testing it is sooo funnyy! Recently i have been reading manga.. ahhahhaa.. some of them are really really nice. I love it when it's a happy ending! Especially when they are fighting hard to keep their love. They love each other so much that they are willing to die for each other.. omg.. so touching:s hehehhee.. Really love it :D
I print screen one of them. hehehe.. damn sweet!
Taken from the manga: "We faced many difficulties, but we continued to believe in our love, and held on to our affections"This is MY NAME! Taken from FaceBook :)
Omg.. I cannot stop looking at the picture :D hehehee... If every lover can be like that.. how great will it be :D
okok.. got to listen le :s tata~
- Being Selfish
-
- chen_chian
- July 11th, 20:58
- guilty
I cant blog yesterday cos i was too tired..:s Didnt have enough sleep for the past two days. hmm.. yesterday i jus realise that i'm really selfish. Not thinking abt others feeling and always thinks that i'm the only one that have stress. Feel really guilty abt it.
Deardear really put up with all my unreasonable angers even though he's so stress. And i didnt realise that he was stressed up already:( With all these stress, he still smiles, keeping his best attitude in front of me. Yesterday i realise that he keeps single thing inside himslf and refuse to share with anybody, not even his mother. He only shows everybody the bright side of him, nobody knows what's inside him and nobody could see the other side of him. Seriously, i'm a really not a good girlfriend for him. Really selfish.. Not thinking abt what's he going through. All i think is about myslf and my own feelings. omg.. my guilt makes me feel really terrible.
I got to change. Have to think about others feelings more. Especially him.
- So Sleepy...
-
- chen_chian
- July 8th, 10:36
cold
I'm soooo sleepyyyy... I want to sleep.. Today still need to go and take photos. Dont even know can focus anot :s Boring lesson in the morning.. Dont even know what he talking about. Then he set the test SO FREAKING HARD! Die liao lah.. Going to fail:(
Yesterday got back MTS common test paper. I got 55~~ GG! GPA no need to get 3 again.. But.. the teacher counted wrongly. He give me 7marks less!! It's suppose to be 62! You know how big the difference is??! I suppose to get B then i got C!! Lucky i go and count :D But the results still not good enough.. haiz... VT oso the same.. 63 i think. I dont remember. haaha..
It's so freezing cold.. The AVT room so cold.. like winter xia here. Hate to be cold :s hahaha.
I shall go do my work so that i can get out of the room :D
tata~
